Michael Warren Davis pens a curious article for The American Conservative entitled “What Russia Means: I want to tell you why Western elites hate Russia.” Curious, as I was not aware of the real roots of my own antipathy to Russia’s expansionist resurgence, itself another curiosity in Russia’s strategy of addition through SSR subtraction, or that Putin (surprise!) emerges as the central defender of real Russian hegemony: the Russian Orthodox Church (ROC). The ROC! That great bane of our elite existence, the resurrection of which, the author gushes, “is nothing short of a miracle.” Indeed, we stand in awe of this lauded institution’s ability to survive the dark purges of Bolshevism (never let the complex nuances of historical swings from active persecution to passive tolerance stand in the way of a good story to tell). And what’s more I believe him, trust his reporting in a sort of leap of faith, miraculous sort of way, that the resurgence of the ROC is both measurable, well-defined, and real (e.g., not a miracle) and also miraculous (e.g., against all odds, a stacked deck worse than the pain of Autocephaly, schism, etc.)

It’s a deep secret we elites are not fond of telling the rest of you (no elite would bother to read the words of another elite which is why I only glanced at the article) that the real policy of containment was not, as the cover story goes, to contain the threat of a creeping Soviet expansionism, but rather to contain within the borders of The Iron Curtain, the awesome frightening spectre of Christianity. (Karl Marx: A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communion communism.) Let Stalin and his ilk deal with the threat, is something I imagine George Kennan said over a port of Brandy (an 1858 Croizet Cognac Leonie no doubt) and a Havana cigar while typing away at his Long Telegram, too long if he wanted to tell the truth (no need, we elites know and prefer not to tell ourselves or anyone else for that matter) so keep it simple Georgie boy! Sadly, the beast was not contained for the Soviet Empire collapsed, Bolshevism was destroyed, and Kennan’s dreams of an enlightened detente between the twin poles of Eastern state atheism and Western “NGO-style liberal democracy” lay shattered in ruins (I said contain, not destroy you buggers!)

It took the collapse of the Soviet Empire to bring into sharp focus the true barbarian at our gates. The ROC, with its smudged and worn away Rublev icons, primitive churches in quaint rural settings, Epiphany Baths, and Kupala Night bonfires, inspire a fear and terror in our elite (go ahead, say liberal or woke, you know you want to!) hearts greater than the sum of Soviet nuclear arsenal. No wonder that Western darling Ukraine vowed to stand up to the one force preventing NGO-elites from our single-minded goal of castrating children (where exactly does the ROC stand on infant circumcision?) Only the foolish would demand proof of such an astonishing counter-narrative. The article is its own kind of Epiphany Bath, a much needed cold splash to bring the sins of our time into full view. King Putin, Defender of the Faith, by the Grace of God, go and smite the enemies of God (go ahead, say liberal or woke, you know you want to!)