A leaked video apparently shows El Presidente pooping on a chihuahua.

“You know what? If El Presidente thinks the video is an exoneration of him, perhaps somebody on his side actually did the leaking.”

“That makes sense.”

“It does, actually. He’s admitting he pooped on chihuahuas.”

“How many chihuahuas?”

“Hard to say. Really, this could be so commonplace that he never gave it much thought. You know, like order in the death squads, bring in the hookers and blow, some diet cokes, and a few chihuahuas.”

“It’s all part of his greater plan.”

“Exactly.”