Category: Levity
Me Smart
Your IQ is 140 if you can name 10 of these people.
Unfortunately, your IQ is 80 if you click on this link.
A Divine Weekend
“Quick, a miracle you swindler.”
“What, for assholes like you?”
Funny
I was only joking!
I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?
Like the Saying, Just Add Anyone Famous.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Not Winston Churchill.
Also Not Winston Churchill “Who put the runny cheese in my crumpets?”
This Isn’t Going to End Well
“Help me out here. Am I the asshole?”
PTO
– Hey, Dray! We’re headed to the islands for the holidays. All exclusive resort. Talking infinity pool, all you can eat buffet, a swim up bar, live band, private yacht, pristine views, the sun and ocean breeze. It’ll be lit.
– Oh, man, that sounds amazing!
– You should come! Got an extra suite just for you.
– I wish I could, but I’m just so busy with this whole NBA season thing.
– Oh dang. Are you sure?
– Let me see what I can do.
The Future Dreams
I merge my consciousness with Happy Stink robocar. On the way to death cage fight, stuck in traffic, software glitch, must wait for V-6.5.3 patch update, possibly Q1 next year at earliest.
Shorter Stephen A.
“I am disgusted by what I saw.”
It helps to linger on the word “disgusted” for emphasis.
It’s Economy, the Stupid
Pitchbot: Senator Mendez needs gold bars to pay for all those $78 Brooks Burgers.* Alt title: It’s getting hot out here and we ain’t talking climate change, people!
*Total airport tab: burger (medium), steak fries, side of ranch, 3 skinny margaritas, whiskey chaser, Jack Handie, and blow. No tip! Not in this economy! No wonder the people! Always, the people.
The Hack 